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Guidelines for Celebrating Bar/Bat Mitzvah in Kol HaLev |
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In Kol HaLev, a Bar/Bat Mitzvah
ceremony is a time to celebrate a young person's increased capacity
to make Jewish choices and decisions as well as the joy and holiness
of Shabbat. As we welcome each young person into adult status and
responsibility within Kol HaLev and the larger Jewish community, we
wish to further his or her identity as a Reconstructionist Jew. |
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Membership Prerequisites and Financial Obligations A young person's Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience within Kol HaLev is based on a foundation of participation. We want all our Bar/Bat Mitzvahs and their families to feel that they are truly part of our community. Our program for Bar/Bat Mitzvah preparation includes family education and community participation for three years -- the year before, the year of, and the year following the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. For this reason, families are expected to join Kol HaLev at least two years prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony and to remain members in good standing for at least one year following. Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah families have regarded this event as an important step on their Jewish journey within Kol HaLev, and not as the end of that journey. Exceptions to this membership rule require the approval of the Rabbi along with representatives of the Religious Practices, Membership, and Youth and Family Education committees. Any additional costs for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service over those usually charged to Kol HaLev for Shabbat services are the family’s responsibility; the family will be invoiced after the event based on space usage and custodial fees incurred (additional costs can vary between $200-$500). Tips for custodian are not required, but are becoming customary (ranging from $30-$60 per custodian, depending upon the amount of extra work). Families are also expected to follow the custom of making a contribution beyond their normal dues and dues plus; the contribution can either be monetary (average amount of $250) or through some creative means. If you have a question about a creative and non-monetary contribution, please address this with the Rabbi. If you have a question about a monetary contribution, please address this with the Treasurer. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is also encouraged to donate a portion of his or her gift money to tzedekah. |
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The Educational Foundation for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah A young person's
Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience in Kol HaLev is based on a foundation of
Jewish knowledge. Every candidate for Bar/Bat Mitzvah must satisfy
certain requirements in order to fulfill the following three goals: To develop one’s sense of belonging in the Kol HaLev community (Goal 1), each Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate must participate in all of the activities below:
In order to fulfill the comprehensive Judaic and Hebrew education component (Goal 2), the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family must choose one of the following three options for formal Jewish education:
A third component includes participation in activities that develop and support a Reconstructionist Jewish identity (Goal 3). A young person ideally will: be able to actively participate in the Shabbat morning service of Kol HaLev; develop some understanding of the Reconstructionist approach to Judaism, specifically with regard to prayer, Torah and holidays; and understand how Judaism extends beyond the home and Kol HaLev into the larger Jewish community. To provide for this background, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate will need to choose one of the following options:
While attendance at Hagiga, Camp JRF and No’ar Hadash are not mandatory as noted above, they are the best ways to develop a positive Jewish, Reconstructionist identity. Therefore, all of our youth are strongly encouraged to attend at least two or more of these activities. Every effort should be made to fulfill these standards. However, the committee realizes there can be special circumstances that preclude their fulfillment. Any exceptions to these standards shall be made only upon approval of the Rabbi, Education Director, and the chair of the Youth and Family Education committee. Every young Jew automatically becomes Bar/Bat Mitzvah when he or she reaches the age of 13. These guidelines reflect Kol HaLev's recommendations regarding the celebration of that transition to adult Jewish life. We also recognize that some young persons at the age of twelve will not have developed an understanding of Judaism that adequately prepares them for the intensive study during the Bar or Bat Mitzvah year. We encourage such young adults to have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony after the age of 13. Such a postponement provides an opportunity to take this major step empowered with Jewish knowledge. It will be at the discretion of the Rabbi to determine the readiness of the child for his or her Bar or Bat Mitzvah ceremony. |
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The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Year The years before and the year of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah in Kol HaLev are a time of intensive Jewish living and learning, modeling the opportunities for kedusha (holiness) that Jewish life offers adult members of the community. While these guidelines are aimed at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student, our understanding of Jewish life places a premium on family involvement. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience can provide the entire family with new opportunities for Jewish growth. The recommended dimensions of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah year within Kol HaLev are the following:
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The Services Celebrating the Bar/Bat Mitzvah The Kol HaLev Rabbi will meet with the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and his or her family to plan the service for the Shabbat of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Families are reminded that this event is both an important family milestone and a regular service of Kol HaLev which follows our usual format. This service provides an opportunity for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah and his or her family, with the guidance of the Rabbi, to incorporate some of their own creative and interpretive understandings into the general framework of the Kol HaLev Shabbat morning service. In addition to the wide range of selections within the Reconstructionist siddur (prayer book), the family is welcome to introduce other prayers, readings and poetry that they may wish to include in a small supplementary program which might also include the order of the service as an aid to visitors, a personal statement by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, and acknowledgments. This service should last approximately two to two and one-half hours in length. In planning the
service, the Rabbi will guide the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family in selecting
three to seven aliyot during the Torah service. One is customarily a
group aliyah in honor of celebrations or a theme from the Torah portion;
other aliyot might include the parents, extended family, or friends.
Non-Jewish family or friends are welcome to go up for a group aliyah. Kol HaLev considers Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebrations to be truly community events. Therefore, use of our current home is to be given preference, if at all possible. If necessary, when our current home is not available, and in accordance with considerations set forth by the Rabbi and the Religious Practices and Youth and Family Education committees, permission could be given to families to hold off-premises services. If this happens, the family will be asked to make an extra effort to indicate that this is still a Kol HaLev community celebration. Kol HaLev has a policy for maintaining sacred space during services. No photography and/or videotaping are permitted at services unless done in an unobtrusive manner, with stationary cameras set up in the back of the room without the use of flash or artificial lighting. Flash photography is permitted before and after the service and at the Kiddush. If photographs in front of the ark and with the Torah are requested, they may be taken before or after the service. |
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The First Years Following the Bar/Bat Mitzvah The Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience cannot be meaningful as an event unto itself. Just as we require previous Jewish education and community participation, we expect and urge continued Jewish learning and activity. In recognition of his or her new status, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will be called upon to perform volunteer service for Kol HaLev just as adult members are. This service may take any form within the broader life of Kol HaLev; it may be in the form of contributing to Shabbat services in some way, such as reading Torah, or it may be helping out with younger children or making phone calls to organize a meeting. To continue their Jewish learning, we encourage all our Bar/Bat Mitzvahs to take advantage of the many resources, both locally, nationally and internationally, including Akiva Hebrew High School, No'ar Hadash - the JRF youth program, Camp JRF, and Israel trips. As these guidelines indicate, becoming
an adult Jew does not happen all at once. We are always in the process
of creating a meaningful Jewish life. Kol HaLev is striving for a
Bar/Bat Mitzvah experience that will both honor and welcome a young
person into our participatory and intergenerational community.
Approved June 2003 |